Death Note Scenarios
by SpicyHippo
Summary: In short, this is a compilation of different scenarios that could arise between the Death Note characters, ranging from "L meets BB for the first time" to "L and Light's sleeping arrangements." Leave your own scenario in the comments if you'd like to see it in the future!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello readers! In case you didn't know, I love L and loath Light entirely :) However, their relationship always interested me...I always hoped they'd have a bromance! Anyway, these short stories will basically be oneshots, each being a different scenario. Please leave any suggestions you have for this story, or any suggestions for a scenario! Enjoy!**

**Scenario:** If L met one of his fangirls.

L stood there at his favorite coffee shop, the customers giving him weird looks because he was handcuffed to Light. What could he do about it? He wanted to catch Kira. And he knew, _he knew_, Light was Kira.

"So, Light, I can't help but notice you're not eating. Do you not like pound cake?"

"No, I'm just not hungry."

"Oh come now. Here, just have a bite." L reached across the table to feed him.

"No, stop it people are looking." Light batted his kindness away like happiness from a baby.

"The only reason they'd be looking is because you're not eating your pound cake. It's a mystery that even stumps me." L pressed the cake up to Lights lips, poking him.

Then, out of nowhere, there was a shriek coming from the table across from them. A young girl ran up to the table, shaking with excitement.

"Oh my gosh!" she shrieked, "L! Light! Isn't this adorable!"

"What?" Light stammered.

"How many times have you guys gone out? Oh my gosh you're such a romantic L, I had no idea!"

"What are you talking about? Light here is not my date, he's a suspect."

"So Light, do you ever get mad at L for never using bag cream? You know, for his eyes."

"Hey!"

"Or how about the way he's a pervert?"

"I'm a pervert?"

"So Light, is L a good kisser?"

"WHAT?!" Light screamed.

"Where's the logic in kissing Light?" L asked, "It wouldn't solve the case, or his manipulating problem."

"Manipulating problem?!"

"Aww, your first argument!"

"This is NOT our first argument!" Light corrected her, you know being the arrogant snob he was.

"So when are you guys gonna get married? What about kids? How about—"

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name," Light said coolly, "How do you spell it?"


	2. Chapter 2 - Good night

**This second one is always something I wondered about in the real series. I mean really, what were the sleeping arrangements? Knowing Light, he'd probably be fine with L sleeping on the floor (if he sleeps at all...). Anyway, I hope you enjoy what I think really happens when they turn off the lights. Thank you to everyone who reads, follows, favorites, and reviews! :) **

**Scenario 2:** Good night.

"Light?"

"Whaaaat?" Light groaned in his comfy bed.

"You know, the floor isn't as comfortable as it looks."

"So?"

"Could I at least sleep on a couch?"

"What couch?"

"... you know, your Kira percentage is skyrocketing—"

"Fine!" Light yelled, "You can sleep with me...DO NOT CROSS THESE PILLOWS!" He said arranging a line of pillows down the center of the bed.

L darted up from the floor and bounded onto the bed, crashing Light's defensive pillow barrier.

"Wow!" L exclaimed, "This bed is like sleeping on a giant cupcake!"

"If you're going to sleep here you have to shut up!" Light punched his pillow into place.

"Light, I'm not going to be able to fall asleep."

Light sighed, "Why not?"

"You're not giving me any covies..."

Light yelled in frustration, tossing him part of the sheets he was hoarding.

"Smart move Light. Your Kira percentage only went up 1%."

"What? Why?"

"I fail to see a teddy bear or some sort of cuddle device here."

"I'm a 17 year old guy! I don't have any teddy bears!"

"Well that explains why you're crabby all the time...mumblemumble..."

"I told you to shut up!"

"..."

_Finally he's asleep..._Light thought, shifting to his side so as not to see L's face. All of a sudden he felt something jab him. He turned to see L's arm fling, almost hitting him in the face. Then a leg came hurdling towards his stomach_. I'm never sleeping again... If only I knew his name I could kill him now..._

"mumble mumble, BB what're you doing...mumble mumble." L stammered in his sleep. "No, don't kill me...mumble mumble." L slashed his arm and legs, Light covered his head. He didn't want to have to explain all the bruises later on. Then, out of nowhere, L latched onto Light like a magnet. "Cupcake mountain! " Light wanted to punch the delirious sugar-freak but he couldn't risk the Kira percentage going up any further. "Cuuuupppcakkkeee 3" L began to sing, "Mouuuntaaiiinn! Ooooo! Chocolate river! Wait up for me!" Light noticed that there was something wet dripping on his neck... DROOL?! _This has gone too far! I can't take it anymore!_

"L! WAKE UP!" He pushed L, almost off of him, but he was just too clingy! "WAKE UP!"

"Huh what?" L tried to push the drowsiness out of his system. He noticed he was clinging to Light and paused. "Just testing you Light...Or should I say KIRA?!"

"GET OFF!" Light pushed him to the other side of the obliterated pillow line.

"Tsk tsk tsk Light. Your Kira percentage just went up 3 more points."

"What?!"

"That's what you get for waking a man during Cupcake mountain..."

"I hate you."

"Good night, Kira."

"Good night...oh crap."


	3. Chapter 3- L meets BB for the first time

**Hello everyone! If you're anything like me (I'm so sorry about your luck), you always wondered about BB and L's relationship, that is, when you weren't thinking about L and Light's relationship...and Matt and Mello's relationship, but we'll get to that later. Anyway, thanks for all those reading, following, etc. THANK YOU SO MUCH! Remember, if you ever want to see a different scenario, simply put one in the comments and maybe I'll choose it :) **

**Scenario:** L meets BB for the first time.

It was one of those rare days where L was enjoying a little peace and quiet in the park with his friend Fudge Pop-tart. He enjoyed the smell of freshly baked funnel cake from the streets nearby and spying on everyone, assuming they were criminals of some sort. That was when he spotted someone very unusual... _How very suspicious_, he thought. The man he saw sitting on the park bench across from him was hunched over, sitting with his hands on his knees, deep, dark bags settled under his eyes, black hair...styled unusually like his, and a jar of jam in his hand. _Odd_, he thought, _although not _crazy. Jam was rather delectable after all.

Suddenly, the man stared right into L's eyes, boring a hole right through him. L quickly averted his eyes, looking around to see if the mystery man could possibly be looking at somebody else.

"Hey," the man whispered harshly, "hey you. Sitting over there." L looked up. The man continued to stare into his _soul_.

"What?" L responded. The man stood and walked (rather chimp-like) over to L and sat next to him. That was when L noticed, they were like _twins_. Were there really two people on this earth who had the weird mannerisms and diabetes resistance L had?

"I'm Beyond Birthday. You can just call me—"

"BB?"

"...I was going to say Darling, but I suppose that works as well..."

"Why are you dressed like that? Why do you do everything that I do?...Why do you want me to call you darling?"

"Because, I want to be just like you. Don't you understand? I know you're L, the famous detective. I've been waiting for you. Your deductive reasoning skills, your ability to solve anything...your hair, never cease to amaze me. I want to be you." BB, er, Darling scooted even closer to him, "Do you want some jam?" he offered over the spoon filled with the decadent, berry explosion that tickled the taste-buds and a little something else...

"uhhh..." But before L could even accept BB shoved the spoon into his mouth. The substance was so thick L couldn't even move his mouth. The bitter taste scraped his tongue and sent him reeling. That was when he realized this was no jam...

"Ha! That's right L! You guessed it! I put some glue in the jam. Don't worry it was just enough so that you couldn't call for help, or well, talk. You know, this way you can't object to anything!" _clever...__**really **__clever... _L thought. BB forced L to stand, causing his Pop-tart to plunge to its death. _Oh Pop-tart...you were my best friend_, L thought as the maniac forced him into a standing position. "Oh, this is going to be so much fun! Don't you think? Oh, L I'm so glad we feel the same way!" BB said ecstatically, grabbing L's collar to plop a smooch on his unresponsive mouth. BB pulled away, "Haven't had much practice in that area have you? Well I suppose the glue wasn't as good of an idea as I thought..."


	4. Chapter 4- L's curious

**Hello again! So, the stories prior to this one probably haven't been very juicy...so that's all going to change with this one! YAY! Since I'm not particularly good at writing juicy scenes, I had some friends of mine-GingerificFabulousTime and CrimsonNight41-help me with this one. See if you can tell who wrote what ;) As always, thanks for reading and following and such. THANK YOU and ENJOY! **

**Scenario:** L's curious (collective effort from GingerificFabulousTime and CrimsonNight41)

L was thinking as he scarfed down his third raspberry tart, staring at the computer screen, _what do people taste like? _He almost slapped himself, how dare he think that? Who was he, BB? No, he didn't mean it like that, he just wanted to know; do people taste as good as tarts? _Why do I care? _He thought, _that's just weird. Light was right, you are a freak..._

As if a curse from God, Light began to speak from the other end of the chain, "L, why are you staring at me?"

"Oh, sorry Light, just thinking," although he hoped Light would _never_ find out what he was thinking. L continued to think. _What would Light taste like...? Probably evil. Yes PURE evil._ He was positive. _What about Misa? She'd probably taste like idiot, whatever that happened to taste like._ _What about BB? Ehhh. Probably like dead people...or maybe just jam. I don't know his dietary habits. Hmmm, what about Mello? Who am I kidding, he tastes like chocolate all the way. Matt on the other hand probably tastes like an ash tray, which was sad because he was not bad for a ginger. _

He wondered what he tasted like. _I assume I taste of cake, cookies, maybe strawberries...definitely cherries...perhaps cheesecake? Of course chocolate cake..._

"Will you stop staring at me?! What's your problem?!" Light exclaimed.

"I'm sorry Light."

"Yeah, well, it's okay I guess," Light hated to admit that he didn't mind L staring at lord, what was wrong with him?! _Snap out of it! _Light thought to himself. _Wow, well that never happened before._

Just as Light's thoughts were going in a creepy direction, Mello and Matt walked through the door, carrying a box of cheesecake and a couple of coffees.

"As you ordered, _Master_," Mello said sarcastically, tossing the box on the coffee table.

L nearly screamed. "WHATAREYOUDOING?! How dare you!" He cuddled with the discarded cheesecake box. "It is a delicate piece of desserty deliciousness!" Mello rolled his eyes absentmindedly, beginning to chomp down on a chocolate bar. "Oh, Mello," L collected his emotions that rarely showed, "what does Matt taste like?" he cocked his head to the side.

Mello's eyes widened, his jaw slightly ajar. He yanked out his gun (like he always did when he felt threatened) and pointed it at L. "What do you mean by _that_, L?!"

"No need to get alarmed, I was just wondering." L began to nonchalantly collect cheesecake on his spoon. "I mean, all of us are geniuses. We know what goes on between you two." Just as Mello began to get more horrified, Light chuckled to himself.

"Oh, sure Light, keep laughing. We _all_ know about your stupid crush on L!"

A mortified Light went sheet white. "I-uh...ha, that's so idiotic, Mello...hehehe," he said with nervous laughter. This made even Matt raise an eyebrow (and he wasn't even paying attention. He was too absorbed in his PSP game). L's eyes seemed to grow wider than his usual panda-like eyes.

"Is this true, Light?" L asked calmly as he always did.

"Uh...well...I—uh—just..._admire_ you, L," Light lied convincingly. _Phewww, that was a close one..._

"Right, and I'm gay for Near." Mello flicked his perfectly golden hair out of his perfectly ocean blue eyes. Matt swooned internally (hehehehe).

"Terrible choice, terrible choice." Light shook his head.

"Are you an idiot?" Matt asked, puffing on his cigarette. "Mello obviously hates Near...and glorifies me! MWAHAHA!"

"I GOT YOU, BABE!" Mello exclaimed, imitating Cher. He then caught Matt up in an overly dramatic embrace, causing Matt to nearly choke on his inhalation.

Light's eyes widened as his mouth formed a small O. Then a faint flush crept over his cheeks and he hastily looked away.

L chuckled and stuffed another bite of cheesecake in his mouth. "It's rude to ignore their performance, especially since it was done especially for you, you know."

"How would they know what I'm into?" Light said rhetorically. Light glanced between L and the other two, realization dawning on him.

"Maybe you should clear your computer history more often. 'Gay porn' is not something that screams, 'I'm straight!'" L counterattacked.

Light's face turned to a lovely shade of flaming hot Cheetos and stayed silent.

Mello released a sputtering Matt, sniggering at Light. "You really are so clueless, sometimes, Light."

"Okay, people, so anyway," L cleared his throat, "back to the subject at hand which I have been pondering for a while now: what do people taste like?" Everyone looked at L as if he was suggesting they all have a girly, frilly, unicorn-filled cuddle party.

"You mean, like, literally, 'cause you might have to ask BB about that one." Mello responded.

"No need," came a voice from behind them. Everyone turned to see who had spoken. Light did a double-take as Misa walked through the door, a Versace bag slung over one shoulder. "Just ask me!"

Silence reigned for a long moment, during which someone coughed and scuffed their shoe. "Do I want to know why you know this?" Light asked suspiciously, giving her a look out of the corner of his eyes.

"I think we all know the answer to this one," L mused in his typical detached voice. "Light, do you, by chance, sleep with your door unlocked?"

Light glanced over at L's hunched figure in bemusement, while Matt and Mello exchanged knowing looks. "Why would...? Oh. _Oh. _You mean...?"

"That's right!" Misa chirped, winking and shooting him with her finger gun of love. "I snuck into your room while you were sleeping!"

"You what?" Light asked with a mixture of dismay and mounting ire. "Oh no. Don't tell me you...you _licked_ me while I was sleeping?!"

"Well," she began, placing a thoughtful finger on her bottom lip, "I don't know that I would exactly say that I _licked_ you..."

"WHAT THE HECK?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? HOW CAN YOU KNOW WHAT I TASTE LIKE AND THEN SAY YOU DIDN'T LICK ME? WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?" he wailed, clutching his head.

Mello collapsed against Matt in fits of hysterical laughter, slapping his thigh. Still gazing around the room with her usual clueless cheer, Misa clapped her hands together gleefully. No doubt she was reliving the encounter, they all figured.

"Well, I may have been a little bit tipsy, but I think I just kissed you a bit, and then there was the s—"

"NO!" Light shrieked, covering his ears and stomped his feet rapidly against the floor. Everybody let him spaz out for a minute in peace, before he managed to get himself under control.

Taking deep, cleansing breaths, he removed his hands from his ears and examined them as if to ascertain that there was no blood on them. Then he proceeded to calmly meet Misa's worried gaze. "I'm sorry, I just had to get that out of my system. Now, you may proceed. What, pray tell, did you do to me while I was sleeping?"

L looked at him with mild concern, not entirely convinced that he wouldn't revert to childish tantrums once Misa finished with her tale.

Misa, on the other hand, changed to ignorant bubbliness in the blink of an eye, apparently convinced that Light was going to be okay. "Oh, nothing much, I just kissed you a bit—okay, a _lot_—and then I saw your sculpted abs and couldn't resist licking them, and sucking on your cute nose and cheeks—"

Light screamed again and collapsed on the ground in the fetal position, twitching sporadically and digging his fingernails into his scalp as he tried to claw the image from his mind. "My mind, oh, my poor, ruined mind!" he moaned. "Why?"

The others looked on as he whimpered pitifully in a ball on the ground, sympathetic expressions on their faces as they turned bright red with the effort of containing their laughter. Misa scampered over to him, hands fluttering in concern as she crouched next to him.

"Light, honey, are you okay? Did I say something?"

"Of course I'm not okay!" he spluttered. "You just raped my mind! Why did you tell me that?" he moaned. "Why? Oh, my poor mind..."

"You told me to," she said obliviously, attempting to pat his shoulder condolingly.

"Oh just shut up!" he yelled.

L cleared his throat yet again. "Misa, what did he taste like? _Evil,_ perhaps?"

"What? No! He tasted like...Justice! Sexy, delicious, JUSTICE!"

L's jaw dropped. Surely she was just bluffing. There was no freaking way he tasted like justice. If anything, _L_ tasted like justice...and sexiness of course...maybe a little mysteriousness. He shook his head, clearing his mind. He knew he would have to test his theory out himself. Whatever that implied. Who knew? Maybe this would solve the Kira case.

"I have a suggestion..." L paused. "I will have to test this question myself...on you guys." He pointed to them. They all stammered and shuffled their feet.

"Alright," Matt said, "I'm down for this." Everyone looked at him as though he just suggested everyone take a chance at licking Near. "C'mon, this could be fun. How about we play Spin the Bottle?"

"What is this 'Spin the Bottle'?" L asked. What stupid game was this?

"Well, I suppose, since we have no bottle, we could just use my cigarette, or maybe Mello's chocolate bar." Matt quickly regretted that suggestion, feeling a gun gently tapping his "family jewels." "Never mind, we can just use my cigarette. If that'll work," he mumbled to himself. "Okay, well everyone get in a circle." Everyone (except Misa, who stumbled out to her doom, Light was sure) reluctantly sat in a circle as commanded to do by Matt. "Okay, now." He placed the cigarette in the middle. "This is exciting!"

"You still haven't told us the rules, Matt," L exclaimed.

"That's because you're the only one who doesn't know them!" he managed to calm himself after his violent outburst, "Okay, anyway, so, L, all you have to do is spin the cigarette and whoever it points to is the one you have to kiss."

"Whoa whoa!" Light objected, "I'm not kissing _any of you_!"

"Oh please, gaywad! We already know your secret! Just be happy this is your chance! Besides, would you rather have one of us _lick_ you?" asked Matt.

Light thought about that for a moment. _Hm..._ Everyone began to question Light even further.

"Okay, okay, we'll just stick to kissing," _With tongue_, he wanted to add, but regrettably did not. _If we're making this interesting, at least make it _really_ interesting. Besides, I haven't made-out with anyone in a while..._

"Well, let's have L go first, he's new to this," Matt chuckled. L spun the cigarette, Light silently prayed to himself that it would be _him_ that would get to make out with this mysterious beast of sexuality...he shook his head, _okay, that was gay, even for me_. L spun the cigarette which landed on... Light. _Perfect,_ he thought to himself, _now I could solve this case once and for all! _Needless to say, Light had a brain spasm. You know, the good kind.

"Um, Matt?" L said almost embarrassed.

"What? Changed your mind, have you?"

"Oh, no," that was a shock to all of them, "I just have a question for you..."

"What?" L scampered over to Matt, a hushed tone to his voice.

"Matt, how do you kiss?" Matt had to choke back a guffaw. Seriously, the smartest detective in the world didn't know how to kiss someone...well, it's not like L had anyone to kiss, but Matt figured that was a simple thing to learn. But then again, why not make this interesting? _Hahahaha..._

He scooted L in closer at whispering distance and began saying, "Okay first you..." L nodded with every detail Matt gave him. It sounded simple enough. He casually staggered on over to Light, in that usual walk of his, and crouched in front of him. He took a deep breath. By Matt's descriptions, this would take some gusto on his part.

Gently, he cupped Light's face with one hand. Light's eyes grew wide as L leaned in close. Then, he pushed light onto his back and placed his knees on either side of Light's hips and his hands on either side of his head. The boys behind them began to start up a chant of L's name, but neither boy heard it as they were too distracted by what was unfolding. L placed a trail of feather-light kisses from his collarbone up Light's neck, flicking his tongue out against the underside of his jaw. Then his mouth returned to the base of Light's neck, where he flicked his tongue against the hollow at the join of his collarbones.

Light's breath hitched, and his hands automatically went up to clutch L's surprisingly hard biceps. L trailed the kisses up to Light's temple, and then over to his cherry-red ear. He gently teased the top of his ear between his teeth, poking the hollow of his ear with his tongue.

_Oh gosh. Ohhhh my gosh,_ Light thought erratically through the pulsing of his heartbeat in his head. _What is this? Why is he so good at this...? Or should I say, how does he know this stuff? I could've sworn that he'd never made out before... Ohh boy. I am making out with L. This is L, the most famous detective in the world! But...why is this so...erotic? Why am I feeling this way? Why does the pit of my stomach feel so squirmy? And my pants...let's not even go there. _

L grinned slightly as his lips traveled down to the hollow below Light's ear. _Matt really knew what he was talking about,_ he mused to himself. _I can feel Light's pulse beating faster. And his face is as red as the Maraschino cherries. But I don't taste anything yet... _

Next, L placed a line of kisses to the corner of Light's mouth. Unable to control himself, Light moaned as L closed his lips over Light's. L was taken aback as Light began to kiss him back, but didn't stop following Matt's masterful instructions. His tongue slipped between Light's lips, where it began a slow dance with Light's.

L adjusted his position so that his chest was pressed against Light's while his hands slid between their stomachs and pushed Light's shirt up. He was surprised by how defined Light's abs were, and wondered idly if the rest of his body matched. Certainly, he could feel the muscles in his chest beneath his fingers as he brushed them higher. Light slid his hands around to L's back, and then lower...and lower...

At this point, the other guys were gaping in morbid fascination at the scene unfolding. Even Matt felt his face flushing a little and found it a little difficult to keep his eyes on the pair on the floor. However, he was unable to tear his gaze away, as though it were a train wreck. _Should we...leave? ...Nah. I must watch the fruits of my labor and wisdom unfold to their entirety. Yes, I must be here to critique my protégé, to the end. _

Light could barely think through the fog of ecstasy and raging hormones that clouded his mind. _What is the meaning of this? Am I...in love with...with _L_? Surely not..._

After several more minutes of deep, passionate kisses, L pulled away. Light lay there, breathless and stunned, a glazed look in his eyes. If it was even possible, his face flushed even redder as he fixed his shirt and propped himself up on his elbows.

L stood up and straightened his own clothing. Thoughtfully, he turned to face the other guys, who hastened to wipe the drool from their gaping mouths.

"Uh, well done, L," Matt stammered. "As expected of you, there is nothing you are second-rate at."

L turned back to gaze down upon Light. With a calculating expression on his face, he tapped his finger against his chin. "Hmm, yes. You, Light Yagami, taste like evil!"


	5. Chapter 5-L is chained to Light and BB

**Hello my darlings! Have you ever wondered why L and Light were chained together? I mean, was it really necessary? Well, being the fangirl I am, I'd say yes. The only thing that could make it better is if someone else was there too. Yes, of course! BB! Let's see just how much L can take with the two of them together! As always, thanks for reading, following, etc! **

**Scenario 5:** L is chained to Light _and_ BB

_Why did I get myself into this?_ L asked himself as he tried to get BB to stop drooling all over him and Light to cool it with the sassy comments. _To solve the case, _he answered himself, _solving this case is more important than—ugh, BB, stop licking me!_ He pushed BB's face away from his. As soon as L managed to get some breathing room, Light pulled on the chain, causing BB's face to ram into L's again.

"Haha! L and BB sittin' in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!" Light began to sing, continuing to pull the chain so BB's lips rammed into L. Truth be told, Light really didn't care if he kissed him, he just loved to see L squirm. "First comes love, then comes marriage, then—"

"I WILL DESTROY YOU!" L uncharacteristically yelled, bolting towards Light. How dare he embarrass such a distinguished detective?! Naturally, BB was glad Light pulled the chain closer and closer to L. It served the dual purpose of makkin' with his darling L and creeping Light out every once and awhile by staring at him with his dark ringed eyes. Plus, he couldn't be blamed for it.

Before Light had time to react, L was on top of him, choking him with the chain that bound the three men together. Basically being a caveman, Light kicked L in the "family jewels" causing L to roll over to the side in agony.

"That's right!" Light said, standing, "I'll make you a soprano you son of a—"

"LIGHT!" BB screamed as he pounced on him, the thump of them hitting the floor echoing in the room. "HOW DARE YOU HURT WHAT BELONGS TO ME! I WANTED TO USE THOSE LATER!"

"BB!" L shrieked in a voice that sounded preadolescent.

Much to L's discontent, BB continued, punching Light in the face as he said, "How dare you touch his sweet junk! You-you _HEATHEN!_"

By this point, the three men were rolling around in a pile, a hot mess of sorts. The sound of the chains rattling was reminiscent of a horror film scene. As of now L was trying to stop BB from killing Light, but that wouldn't stop BB from wrapping the chain around Light's neck.

"Stop it BB, I need him alive!" BB froze.

"W-what? But darling, I thought...I didn't know you and he—"

L face palmed as he heard the struggled breathing of Light, "Ugh, you idiots! No, BB, I need him alive to prove that he is Kira!"

"Oh!" BB sighed in relief as he removed the chain scarf Light was currently being strangled by. "Darling, now I know that there's only room in your heart for me!" BB bolted towards L, embracing him, smothering his face with kisses, "That's why I'm chained to you isn't it?!"

L tried to push him away, "No! I need you here because I suspect you too!"

If only for a moment, the three of them sat in silence, none of them touching or even looking at each other. BB couldn't help but smile at the thought he just had. Trying not to make any noise, he grabbed the chain and pulled—hard.

Light was pulled towards L at speeds he didn't know was possible for a human body to move. That was why he couldn't stop what was already set in motion. His body was suddenly stopped by a warm face attached to his; lips smashed into L's. _GAH! _He thought as he pushed him away. But BB kept pulling, again and again.

"L and Light sittin' in a tree—" BB began to sing. Rather than fight it, L sat, the bags under his eyes feeling even heavier as he endured what felt like hours of torture.

The only form of torture that could have been worse was sleeping with these two men. Because there were three of them, it was hard to squish them all on one bed, but L was not one to quit.

So that night, after hours of him "sittin' in a tree" with the two of them, they were ready to retire for the evening. For one of the first times in his life, L was actually exhausted. It was like being a full time babysitter, only worse because the babies were actually full grown men who were the potential killers of thousands of people. Not to mention they were _very_ clever...

L could see a fight happening before his very eyes. BB and Light were arguing about the sleeping positions. Light was very much a I-like-to-sleep-alone person. L had various scenarios as to why that was. _He's a wanker...along with being Kira of course._ BB unfortunately was a spooner, clinging to anything and anyone he laid next to. L on the other hand barely slept (as shown by his discolored bags), so he wasn't particular as to how he slept.

"You know what?!" L said as the two grabbed each other's collars, getting ready to punch, "I'll sleep in the middle. You two obviously cannot handle sleeping next to each other." With much cursing under his breath, L crawled in between the two. "Now everybody shut up." Normally, L was very nonchalant, but he could only take so much irritation in one day.

With that, Light and BB grumbled to themselves and tucked their bodies underneath the covers. Light made a pile of pillows to separate L and himself while BB threw his arm and leg over L, cuddling him like Koala bear hugs a tree. With a barrage of pillows on one side of him and his doppelganger on the other, he sighed, closing his heavy eyes in hope of sleep.

As warmness surrounded him, the tug of sleep beginning to take hold, he heard mumbling coming from his left: BB.

"Light..." he mumbled. "Noooo...stop..."

_What? What did Light do to you?_ he thought to himself, turning to BB. "No BB," L said in the best Light impersonation he could do at this hour, "I won't stop...what is it that I'm doing?" _Yeah, nailed it._

"You..." he lightly thrashed his arms, "Don't write my name."

_Write my name? What, like in a diary? In a tattoo on his chest? On his heart perhaps? _

"No, BB, I'm going to write it...in...in." He stumbled across his words. _In what?! _

"Don't write it in the...D..." _Aha! Diary! I knew it! That man really was a wanker!_ "Death note." Gasp. L turned to Light who was curled up on his side, facing away from L. So that was why all those people were dying. The Death note! He had heard of them before. Light had always mumbled those words in his sleep. _Maybe, just maybe, I could get him to talk..._

L gently prodded Light. As soon as he did so, Light spoke, "No, I don't want to pick up the soap..." L knew he was twisted, not _that_ twisted.

"Too bad," L said in the best impersonation of an evil guy he could think of...coincidentally, he sounded just like Light, but that was beside the point. "Tell me why you're here or-or I'll force you to pick up that soap!"

"Nooo...okay...I'll talk." He ended the sentence with a snort.

"Start talking Hot Pants."

"MMmmkayy...well I...killed a few..." _Yes! Confess you no-good, street-walking hussy!_ "bugs...mmmbuggies." _Ugh. This night is going to be the longest night in my life. _

L was right. As if in a Twilight Zone episode, the two talked throughout the night, as if having a conversation with each other as L listened. When morning finally came, L found himself underneath the two men. Light was fast asleep on top on L and BB was on top of Light, making breathing for L an impossible dream. But that was when he felt something. Something..._stiff._ _Oh God! The morning! _He wanted to kick Light and BB off of him, but that was when he realized that that stiff thing was no body part (much to his relief). It felt like...

He traced his fingers around Light's chest and abdomen, hoping he would stay asleep. That would've been _awkward_. He carefully slid his fingers up Light's shirt. The minute he did so, Light's eyes shot open, screaming as he fell off the bed, dragging BB with him.

"Light, what do you have under there?" L hopped off of the bed and tried to peel off Light's shirt.

"No my darling!" BB covered his eyes at the sight of his love trying to get it on with another. But there was nothing he could do.

"Nothing! Nothing's there!" Light said as he slapped L's hands away sissily, like in a cat fight; like a two-wussy-men fight.

"I know something's there! I know you're not just happy to see me!" With that, the fabric of his shirt ripped, revealing a black notebook. L gingerly picked the book up, eyeing it like it was a newfangled cheesecake recipe. It read: Death Note.

_Jackpot._


End file.
